I’m still here, sorta

its been a while since my last post, Honestly, I miss writing. I have not left you alone, my fellow readers and writers. But, the last few months have not been so kind. I had a bit of an encounter with Death. sometime in June she whispered in my ears and I thought perhaps I was just worrying too much, I ignored it and went on about my days. about three weeks after that, I get a message from a friend. He tells me please call him when I get a chance, it’s urgent. So, I take a break and somehow I knew, it was all about that whisper.

My friend, my best friend, like a big brother to me. he leaves in California. with work and the time zone difference, we don’t speak that often. every few weeks we call each other, catch up, and plan the next move to build our empire. That day on the phone it wasn’t the same friend, but another, a close friend knew he had to call me ” did you hear about our brother?”. my ear started to ring, my chest felt as if it opened from the inside out, my heart pounding and I could hear every beat coming from my opened chest.

I have been trying to act and go about my days normal. Fear that my true state of mind will be contagious. My family would not know how to handle a grieving Scorpio, depressed, and desperately trying to grasp the meaning of life. So I have been keeping busy. While depression eats me from the inside I try to keep the self-stitched stitches on my chest from breaking apart, so that my ribs, my lungs, and my heart don’t fall on everyone. (A bit graphic, but I wish there was a better way to describe it)

last week, I heard the whisper again. It too soon but death does not pick and choose, she does not make the decisions. she doesn’t get to call the names. when it’s time, death is simply there to collect. I learned that same day, another friend was gone.

Yeah, I am still here… sorta.edmemorium

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s