A drop of sweat on her neck
Her heart beating through her chest
That one hair string sticks to her sweaty forehead
A smile …
The curves on her hips
That walk that comes with an audience
The boucing breast
Beats to my heart …
The crack in her voice
That gap in between her teeth
The shape of her bottom lip
That vanilla lotion she puts on …
The way she looks at me
The universe in her eyes
Right in my soul
She looks at me and the walls around me
Crumbles to the ground
Out of no where I am made of glass
And to her voice
Glass turns to water
I am defenseless
I could fall in love with your vibe
when you come around
My body shifts in all directions
I could fall in love with your lips
The smiles it flares around
the fantasy of kissing you
I could fall in love with your skin
I could fall in love with your eyes
Piercing thru my soul
renders me weak everytime
But your mind
I can’t fall in love with
I get it you know
The walk in this life and everything you need to know
How life as sweet as it wants to be
ultimately on seeks to destroy all that could be
life isn’t fair
a simple reminder that it s equally just as fair
I create my demons
And I have learned to accept my demons
My demons aren’t my problem
But the Shadow behind them
The little ones that lurks in the corridors of my mind
they seem so gentle, innocent and kind
but in the dead if the silent night
They touch a door and causes that fright
A little nagging footstep running in the floor
But it’s too late to close the door
My demons are terrified
I can feel it in my spine I am terrified
The energy I feel inside
I can tell my demons try to hide
They are watching
Quietly behind me, holding my shoulders clenching
the fear in their eyes
my demon’s demons
what is this cursed feeling of emptiness when you thought you had everything you could ever ask for? While my heart is happy with the product around me, a stranger from within touches me from inside and reminds me… “You don’t belong here, it’s all temporary and you are wasting a lifetime with the worries of the body you possess. Realizing, this body possesses me instead. Was that the mission? I don’t remember anymore. I had glimpse of how I died last lifetime once. But that was a while ago. Somehow, I lost myself in this lifetime and lost sight. Now all I remember is that there is a mission. I forgot the mission. I forgot my soul, I forgot me.
I thought it would be OK
But not being able to sleep all night
Feels more like I’m nocturnal
People are weird.
I see from and look at them like weird foreigners
The talk weird, react weird, think weird,
People : can you tell me along ago I started work?
Me: sure, it shows that you be logged in for 6 hrs and 12 minutes.
People: oh, OK. So what time did I start work?
Me : (with a sarcastic smirk) ugh… 6hrs and 12 minutes ago…?!?
OK fine! I’m word too!
Listening to Stan Getz. ︶︿︶
Solitude. The thing I look for every 24hour
If only I can be alone for a sec. So I look for any reason to be alone
But… Never truly alone.
Solitude. A few minutes to recharge. A chance to regenerate. Press pause, relax my social skills and get back to the game.
This game called life. Not the energy that gives us life. Rather the social game we have to play. Picking the right social clues and response at the right fraction of a second time just to fit in or to avoid looking different.
Solitude. Not anti social, just plain solitude. Time to sit with my demons, my spirits, my entities and my soul. Have a nice conversation uninterrupted, deep and constructive.
Just solitude. Once in a while it saves a live.
So I’m an insomniac.